Bart The Cat

Did You Know

brucebaker111 — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 02:47:32 +0000

A cat has more bones than a human being; humans have 206 and the cat has 230 bones.

Did You Know

brucebaker111 — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 02:46:18 +0000

If left to her own devices, a female cat may have three to seven kittens every four months. This is why population control using neutering and spaying is so important.

Did You Know

brucebaker111 — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 22:34:53 +0000

Multi-colored male cats are very rare. For every 3,000 tortoiseshell or calico cats born, only one will be male.

Albert Schweitzer

brucebaker111 — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 22:33:27 +0000

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.

Cat Laws of Physics I

brucebaker111 — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 22:32:30 +0000

1 – Law of Cat Inertia:

A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest unless acted upon by some outside force such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

2 – Law of Cat Motion:

A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

3 – Law of Cat Thermodynamics:

Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, all heat flows to the cat.

4 – Law of Cat Magnetism:

All clothing attracts cat hair in direct proportion to the degree of color difference between the cat hair and the fabric color.

5 – Law of Cat Stretching:

A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

6 – Law of Cat Sleeping:

All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat.

You have to read all of this to get the joke

brucebaker111 — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 22:30:49 +0000

I gave my cat a bath today. He seemed to like it, but I wasn’t too crazy about it. His fur sticks to my tongue.

What Cats Do For Us

brucebaker111 — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 03:32:50 +0000

Warm our laps.
Give us someone to talk to.

Help reduce high blood pressure.
Bring the winter air inside, nestled in their coats.
Create a kindred feeling with other "cat people."
Turn common household objects like bottle caps into toys.
Make us more aware of birds.
Donate their services as alarm clocks.
Display daring acrobatic feats right in front of our eyes.
Contribute to living a longer life.
Make a window sill more beautiful.
Keep mice on the run.
Make us smile.
Inspire poets and playwrights.
Teach us how to land on our feet.
Let us indulge our desires to really spoil someone.
Make our homes warmer.
Remind us that life is mysterious.
Share with us the all-is-well experience of purring.
Instruct us in the luxurious art of stretching.
Show us how to lick our wounds and go on.
Give us cool cartoon characters.
Make even an old worn couch look beautiful.

Open our hearts.

Did You Know That

brucebaker111 — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 03:31:16 +0000

Cats have the best vision and in the dark their eyes become more like "Ears", the reason being that their pupils can pick up acoustic vibrations.

Matt Groening

brucebaker111 — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 03:30:32 +0000

Fans think they want to see more than the 10 to 20 seconds of Itchy and Scratchy that we put on the show, but my feeling is less is more. Once you’ve skinned and flayed a cat, ripped his head off, made him drink acid and tied his tongue to the moon, there really isn’t that much to say

T.S. Eliot

brucebaker111 — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 03:29:20 +0000

The naming of cats is a difficult matter. It isn’t just one of your holiday games. You may think at first I’m mad as a hatter. When I tell you a cat must have three different names… -